For a glimpse of my life,click on lyrics above that says
Nobody
Need
Me

I wish you happiness, always...

'Sometimes when no one wins, we can still lose'

Paradise

A nice cute rabbit thinks he is living in a difficult village to live in, on one day decided he should leave his village with the blessing of his best friend, the cat and his family.

Initially every place he went, he will write back to his best friend and family. But as time went by, the time between mails got longer. Similarly the cat and the family wrote back lesser.

Few years passed, and the rabbit finally wrote back to the family and his best friend saying that he is coming back for a break before he visit the other half of the world. When he is back he said he saw this village that is so beautiful and wonderful then he told the village head that he will go back another day. The village head say we will wait for your return some day.

The rabbit left to travel the other half of the world subsequently. When he is done, he went back to the beautiful village. He is greeted by the village head. The rabbit asked the village head what happened to the village. The village head say, 'its the same my dear.'
The rabbit said, 'no. Everything changed, people look different, the houses look different, even the trees look different.'
The village head replied, ahh... that my dear is beyond our control. Things changed don't they?'
Disappointed the rabbit went back to the village hoping to see his family and friends. Once again, what greeted his sight is different from what he expected. He knock on the door of his best friend. He asked what happened. How much things had changed.

The cat replied, ' my dear friend, time can be unforgiving. And if you think we change, have you yourself remain unchanged? Sometimes even paradise changed, or perhaps its just the way you look at how paradise changed...'

Walk down memory lane's favourite boutique

I do not know whether any of you remember this boutique - 2nd chance.
Its a funny name to call your little clothes store i will say. Maybe its name is meant to sound as a answer to our yearning to second chances in life. People would like to have second chances in things they do in life, things they regretted doing or simply did not do the first time round. But the truth is life is seldom so kind and forgiving, second chances will be a rarity that belong to a fortunate few.

I believe that we should not hope for second chances to appear in our lives. We should appreciate things.
And if we miss out on things because you didn't do it first time round - damn it.. If we regretted doing things wrongly the first time round, damn it on you/me.

I sometimes yearn for second chances, but i know i do not deserve them.
I do not like to give too many chances to others too, maybe because second chances will never cease once given.

By the way, 2nd chance has close down because life is not kind, life do not like second chances.
Someday when you come to terms with that, maybe life will finally be kinder to you.

'Dare to dream. The biggest dreams do not happen when you are sleeping.'

'You are here with me, you can be anywhere you want to be. But you decided to be here, it's no conincidence, simply meant to be.'

Goodbye and fly away

My previous blog entry was written in china, at a place where someone who was very close to my life called her home.

China is a place of bad memories to me. Perhaps if not for the place, i will be a much happier person. But i guess things were not meant to be.
If she didn't go, maybe she will not change, maybe things will not change. Perhaps your changes has made you a stronger person, giving you the strength to live in china alone, which i think is no easy feat. But I can't love a different person.

If i didn't go, maybe i will not feel that i suffered there. Not from the heartbreaking treatments, not from the oily food, not from the loneliness and tears or the times i need to swallow my pride or fear. I am not a perfect companion, but i still think i deserve better treatment. When i am told that i am not welcome anymore, and its better for me to leave, the pain was tormenting. I think it must be so painful to have me breathing the same air and living under the same roof for a few more days or even one more minute. I booked another flight and allow my original ticket to be turned to useless paper. I thank her for paying my trip first and buying me the ticket back, and the many good memory we had. I am sorry that i return all of it and more with a dwindling care and concern. My excuse/reason is due to the distance that we fell apart. Its not easy, and i do not know what is expected of me.

I apologise for the times when i did not call even though there are reasons.
I apologise for the times when i did not put in more effort to ask you what is disturbing you.
I apologise for the times when i may not seems i care.
I apologise for the times when i cannot be there.
I apologise for the times which our differences hurt you.
I apologise for the times i did not tell you how things are bad or when you hurt me.
Lastly, I apologise that we have to end this because i felt that our differences will make our future harder.

Boundaries and limits

You are greedy.

Yes, i m not saying this to get you angry but you are greedy.

So am i, and so is a lot of the people who live in comfort and freedom.

I was fortunate enough to be part of Camp Outreach 2008 and it has brought me, other volunteers and the hearing impaired (HI) away from the comfort of the little country known as Singapore and step into the little streets, not so comfortable toilets with no running water and the endless horizon of trees and the boundless sea of Indonesia, Karimun Island.

It is my first camp in my university days as a participant and not a coordinator. Frankly it felt weird to be stepping into buses first, taking care of one and only buddy instead of looking out for a lot more. Surprsingly, it is actually more tiring to look after one because he/she requires your 101%.

At times during the camp, i felt like a nanny more than a volunteer. But i think its an golden opportunity to test my tolerance level, and make me understand and appreciate that i am indeed a very lucky fella that is being looked after.

It is a tiring job but a very fulfilling one. I know alot of people, and i think they are very nice people. The camp is brimming of positive attitude, love, care and concern that makes everyone feels happy and positive. The HI looks like they are the ones that is living a perfect life, and that makes me feel very guilty for all the little beauties of life that i take for granted, for which they show they truly cherish.

Though communication is a trouble for a noob of hand signs like me, i will still like the chance to join such camps more often in the future. The happiness and emotions i derived from the camp seems very real, and its a little something that even my graduation trip to japan could not compare. Do not get me wrong, i love my Grad trip and i really thoroughly enjoy the company of my best mates in University life but COR is something special and something different.

Many things have boundaries and limits, but sometimes these are self imposed rather than really existing. Maybe when you move outwards and not dwell in your little circle, its the time when life become more fulfilling and exciting.

Name: Brandon

A broken bottle of liqueur,
Empty and stale without a single ripple.
Brewed in the forgotten year of 1984,
A spirit that none will tip to pour.
Lock up in a cold cellar of no summer or fall,
Maybe it has no right to ask for any more.
Will you buy it and bring it out to thaw,
Give it some warm or amore

/S boy
Weiling


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