For a glimpse of my life,click on lyrics above that says
Nobody
Need
Me

The good old holidays. How refreshing... How quiet and peaceful everything is... No hectic mugging, no slogging at multiple tasks and obligations. Ahh... Sound wonderful doesn't it? It sounds pointless and meaningless too. I am surprised why haven't I blog more, considering I have been thinking a lot. I have the habit of brooding over things, it makes me feel damn old. Not something good for a man in his early twenties. I am told my emotional age is a daunting 48 when I took an emotional age test recently. That is more than double my current age. Wonder that makes me a 'pedophile' when I say I prefer girls who are slightly older than me (my actual age). Haha. T_T

I just reminded myself how lonely I am. (Give myself a pat on the back) Great job! Idiot!(sigh) Sometimes I try to tell myself most of us come to the world alone, and will most probably leave it alone, not to mention we are lonely for most parts of our life, what is more? But that very sentence to convince is like a douse of hot water in the blistering cold, comforting as well as hurtful. The holidays grant me tons of free time to feel lonely and sad; bored and depressed. Silently I acknowledged that I chose to do a lot of things just to feel busy, not to feel important or wanted, but to feel less occupied with depressing thoughts.

I feel so old and weary.

I just met up with a friend whom I have not seen for a long time. We spent some time together, mainly talking. It is amazing how much people change every time you see them. I tried to link her to the same person I knew almost five years ago. They are very different in a beautiful way. The person now was much happier, she knows what she wants, and see contentment in a lot of things. And I doubt time is the wise tutor that taught her. Time teaches nothing, it just watches. Hardship is the special tutor. It is the downside that teaches us how to grow stronger. Gone is the lost little girl, unsure of what she wants to seek. She is one of the few people that I enjoy talking to, though I seldom talk to her. She always manages to make me see things differently. That is her unique beauty.

When she say goodbye, a small part of me realize this maybe our last time seeing each other for a long time. She say we will meet again soon, I am not too sure of that. I am not even sure we will recognize each other when we meet, that is if we do meet.

Sometimes we know goodbye with a smile is a gentle way to say this is our quiet parting. Take care and all the best...

What is love really? I was quite stunned by the question when someone asked me that. And I thought it is like such a dumb question. Even a baby knows what love is. I wanted to answer then I realized. I do not know the answer! At least not right away, I am the dumb one I guess. The dictionary defines love as a form of emotional attachment. Some people will define love as a form of giving. Some regard it as a sacrifice.

What is love to me? Firstly love is unique. It defeats reason and knows no logic. The only law it knows is being unpredictable, it can comes in all form, all shapes and sizes.

Secondly, love is a little selfish in nature. Yes, all. Most will beg to differ, I cannot blame you. I am a weirdo. No matter how selfless the act of love is, it is selfish. It satisfies your needs or wants.

Lastly, love is something that makes the subject complete. Sounds weird you must be thinking. Imagine when one says 'I love someone or something', in some manner it makes him or her complete. I love freedom, I love to dream, I love to travel, I love to be happy and I love you, because all these makes me complete.

But being complete is not necessary all about benefits. To gain something, one has to give. Maybe one has to give more than one receive or vice versa, but a price will need to be paid. Why the rose is a symbol of love? To me it is most appropriate, because underneath the blazing red passion is thorns, and one will be prickled, just how bad it will be.

Hate not that roses has thorns, love that thorns have roses.


In some things, the start can be the end. Right?

1 LOVevol 1

Name: Brandon

A broken bottle of liqueur,
Empty and stale without a single ripple.
Brewed in the forgotten year of 1984,
A spirit that none will tip to pour.
Lock up in a cold cellar of no summer or fall,
Maybe it has no right to ask for any more.
Will you buy it and bring it out to thaw,
Give it some warm or amore

/S boy
Weiling


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