Thursday, July 11, 2013
Sometimes @ 1:59 AM
Priority in life always change, that much is expected. My priority now seems to evolve around work. I feel very detached to my personal life and my relationship with my loved ones are becoming strained due to the lack of communication.
Sometimes there are light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes there ain't. I certainly hope there is one for the situation I am stuck with. Sometimes i wish there is a listening ear, sometimes i wish there were assistance available for my hands to hold onto. But most of the time there is just nothing for me to reach out to, I feel that im fighting the war alone and i got no one behind me and tell me things will be better.
很累。。有时很想哭。。可是又有谁来听听呢
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
自觉 @ 1:43 AM
小时或多或少都会有理想/梦想。
人生的不如意，现实与无奈往往让人离那些梦逐渐遥远。回想起当初的梦想，随着时间一个一个改变。不知是因为放弃，妥协，自觉还是无奈。
其实我一点都不理性，很感性，容易被心情牵着走。可以重复一首歌，一整夜，一遍又一遍。然后觉得有一点寂寞和空虚，就边听边流泪。就这样悄悄的过了一夜。
星座分析很多都不准，唯一我非常认同的是“满坚硬的外壳下面是柔软的内心”。
我的武装是不想受伤，但懂得的人又有几个呢。。。。
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Mario @ 1:34 AM
Blogging has taken a backseat after people opt for the faster way to keep people to date, twitter & facebook. Looks like i have taken a step back and gone a blast to the past. I don't deny it, I adore the past.
I have got a new job, been in it since Feb. Lots of things to do, fire to fight, war to engage and revolts to put down. It sounds busy, it sounds challenging and it sounds absurd. I have lost track of time daily playing in the junkyard. It is like the classic Mario game, which Mario need to overcome the various obstacle to reach his goal and save the princess. Most of the time you do not get killed by the boss (in fact for classic games, boss are predictable), instead you get rip apart by the ridiculous Venus Flytrap who use every opportunity of your err to chomp you down. It is energy sapping to subdue the internal conflict and mount a crusade everyday.
You can raise your head high or raise your white flag, you can stand out or lose out.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
We get what we get, not what we deserve @ 8:56 PM
Eons ago is my last post. I have been counting down the time with no avail. Worst is success of my job search.
I have so much time these few months that i was watching the drama 'House'. I finally understood the charm of the series and relate to the songs of praise for the series. The most important and centric character of the series will be of course, gregory house. The bastard doctor, who is smart, eccentric, arrogant, narcissistic, critical, sarcastic, blunt, helpless, weak and a pitiful soul roll into a single figure. Someone who can relate to one way or another and hate to be one way or another.
The quote or title of this article is taken from the recent episode i watched. House (referring to no such thing as karma) claiming, We get what we get, not what we deserved.
Or would you rather believe that we are master of our own fate, captain of our own soul?
I wish i am that strong and infallible.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
a story about music, mask and clowns @ 1:28 AM
Whisper the distasteful noise and cry out the peaceful sound, can you hear the orchestra of the insane town?
Its an era of the saint and the sane, who kneel and bow to the golden bane.
Welcome to a place where the young meets the old, and all the lunacy unfold.
Weave and thread through the faceless crowd, my mask wore me and it took me out.
'Hear me' said truth but all we speak are lies and rouge, maybe we are all the same circus clown.
The fool on the tight rope gag and bound, finding a little balance before we fall and drown.
I wrote this sitting on my bed and watch my life spiral a down.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Work, rose, poison @ 5:51 PM
I went Malaysia few weeks back, for an engagement. It was a great, i learn new stuff, made new friends, ate seafood, sing karaoke and cheap massage. It was fun despite working. No surprise things like this behave like lightning.. They went by hell fast, and its just a spilt second of light before darkness come again.
Work has slow down after the 'peak' period has ended. It is one thing that turn for the better only to get worst. The thing is i don't really intend to stay to find out. If things go according to plan, i should be handing in my letter of resignation in about 2 weeks. Changing to another job that pays less is most probably not what most people my age will do or fancy, but it should gives me some time to go a more laid back style, plus its what i prefer to do. Facing the computer daily, working with demanding seniors and managers is not my bed of rose. Maybe i am still hoping to live in a fairytale world, praying for a jobs that pays decent and is something i like to do, and a place i like to be. My next job hopefully offer at least a place i like to be. Hope is a poison. But being miserable suffocate..
Somethings are simple.. But still not easy
Sunday, July 05, 2009
I watch the world go backwards @ 11:44 PM
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings
but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints.
We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families,more conveniences,
but less time.
We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but
less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine,
but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly,
laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late,
get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray
too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.
We've added years to life not life to years.
We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble
crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.
We conquered outer space but not inner space.
We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.
We write more, but learn less.
We plan more, but accomplish less.
We've learned to rush, but not to wait.
We build more computers to hold more information, to produce
more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men
and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.
These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier
houses, but broken homes.
These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway
morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do
everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.
It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and
nothing in the stockroom.
I don't know who i can attribute this to, because my google search result mentioned the so called writer of the piece - Geroge Calin (American Comedian) denied its from him. Anyway, I seen this a few years back but it pop back into my inbox again recently so i thought might as well post it here since i like the piece.
how much has the world gone backwards when time move forward.. Oh well.. 25yrs for me.. i wonder how much longer
